#9. Alice Walker: Walking Away from her Daughter?

I’ve been reflecting on the two pieces, In Search of our Mothers’ Gardens by Alice Walker, and Baby Love by Rebecca Walker, as well as the articles online about how Alice Walker disowned her daughter Rebecca. Perhaps the most provocative for me, however, was Rebecca Walker’s 2008 article, “How My Mother’s Fanatical Views Tore Us Apart.” Her essay was really emotional, inciting both my indignation and sorrow. I found myself feeling so sorry for Rebecca, as I imagined a fast-food-eating, sexually active, and lonely teenager. Stereotypical as it sounds, I thought, this is what happens to children who do not receive adequate parenting (or mothering, as we have been calling it). I found myself agreeing with Rebecca, with her views that it is a parent’s obligation to impose some restrictions, that being physically present to one’s children is vital. At the same time, I found myself judging Alice: if she did not want to actually raise her daughter, she should not have chosen to have a child in the first place.

In violating her duty to be present to her daughter, to raise her and support her, Alice Walker has fallen short. In addition to her maternal inaction, however, Walker has done worse: she ingrained the same ideology, that motherhood is bad and diminishing, in her daughter. This could have potentially ruined Rebecca’s future happiness, if she had waited any longer to have her child. Furthermore, after these two wrongs, Alice Walker acted it even worse. She disowned her daughter, cutting off the relationship with both Rebecca and her son. In my mind, this forms a kind of triple sin: her maternal inaction, her destructive teachings, and her definitive renunciation.

Alice Walker is completely entitled to believe her radical feminist ideology. Further, she is completely entitled to live a life of feminist liberation, writing as much as she wants, traveling, even divorcing if she so chooses. However, I think it is sad and unfair to bring a child into this situation. By imposing her radical beliefs on her daughter, Alice also drastically effected Rebecca’s future happiness as an adult. Alice Walker believed that motherhood was a kind of slavery, and Rebecca never questioned this belief until it was almost too late for her to physically bear children. (As I say this is unfair, however, I can’t help but wonder, is this much different from parents who raise their children to be the same religion as they themselves are? I would never fault a parent for raising a child to be Jewish or Catholic, for example. So perhaps I cannot fault her mother for instilling her own beliefs in her child. I just disagree with her beliefs in the first place.)

I know we are not supposed to judge mothers, especially without having been one. But can we judge mothers, if not on their maternal performance, at least on their performance within the family? After all, even though I have never been a mother, I have been a daughter and a member of a family. If any member of my family – a sibling, a father – was absent from my life, unsupportive of me, and downright hurtful, I would feel the effects. To me, this is a violation of family duty, if not just maternal duty. Rebecca Walker hits a strong note when she says, “I am my own woman and I have discovered what really matters – a happy family.” I don’t think her belief is necessarily anti-feminist. The concept of a happy family matters, or should matter, to both men and women. Both mothers and fathers can find great fulfillment in their family life.